How to become and what is like to be a flight attendant?

Why is it better to be a cactus rather than a flight attendant?

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A few days ago I read an article which inspired me to write this…oh my God, now I know for sure it is much better to be a cactus rather than a flight attendant…

  • A cactus is never sleepy – it doesn’t have to get up at 3.am or coming back from work after midnight. It just stays gently at home and catches dust.
  • A cactus knows that “traveling the world” actaully means knowing all the airports and smelly hotels around the airports. That is why cactuses are not jealous that you “travel all around the world”…
  • People rarely vomit on cactuses.
  • A cactus doesn’t know what does UTC mean and it’s not living in UTC. It’s just you.
  • Cactuses don’t have loops on their tights and have to look stupid in their uniforms.
  • If a cactus falls by plane it may survive.
  • Most of the pilots won’t sleep with a cactus.
  • A cactus doesn’t need to make a safety demo over and over again…
  • A cactus doesn’t have to smile while serving beverages to people it doesn’t like.
  • A cactus doesn’t care about pressurized cabin, evacuation commands, safety procedures, front and rear galley, boarding sales or what will the Captain eat?!
  • A cactus never dreams of becoming a Purser cactus. If somehow it becomes a purser it doesn’t cry for hours under the shower after work.
  • There is no way a cactus can open a door in armed position and disengage the slide by mistake.
  • No one in the entire human history has ever asked a cactus how to fasten a seat belt.
  • A cactus doesn’t have to fly enclosed in a metal tube with coughing grannies and live with all germs known to mankind.
  • A cactus feels free to hate little spoiled children and can show it to everyone without a doubt.
  • After work cactuses don’t have to deal with swollen and painful legs which look like old rotten logs.
  • A cactus has a better social and love life than any cabin crew member.
  • Terrorists will never blow up a whole plane with cactuses…I hope.
  • A cactus can live even without water. All flight attendants “try” to eat healthy.
  • A cactus doesn’t clean the smelly toilets on the plane after another dose of shitting fatties. 

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    For more funny stories you can check out here: AIR CONFIDENTIAL or FUNNY STORIES AT 30,000 FEET. PART 1

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