A passenger call captures my attention. Seat 12D.
Yes, madam. What can I help you with? – I am asking kindly.
– Why did we stop moving? – the woman replies.
– Errmm…no we didn’t.
– Oh, yes we did! – the woman insists.
– Madam, if we’ve stopped moving believe me you wouldn’t have asked me so kindly and composedly. – I reply bored out.
In the business clas two Russians start a drinking competition. After 20mins the older guy is deadly drunk and wants to go to the restroom, but he’s not even able to walk! The other man tries to assist him. After about 15mins we hear a loud noise from the lavatory. The purser and I open the door from the outside and we see the old man lying on the floor, somehow trying to step on his feet…We see a footprints on the toilet seat…you tell me what he has tried to do?!
We haven’t started with the beverage service yet and two Roma boys rush into the business class as my colleague and I are chatting and giggling at the front galley. The older boy is asking me where the lavatory is, because his little brother is covered from head to toe with vomit. Let me emphasize that these boys are seated on the last row NEXT TO THE BACK LAVATORY at the rear part of the cabin. I am standing stone faced in front of the little boy thinking ”Look at his league…stretching all the way from his mouth to his hand…like a bubble gum!Ahh…and that horrible smell!”…EWW?!
A woman goes to the toilet to wash her hands, but doesn’t know that the sink stops by itself. She asks my colleague how to stop it and he replies ”Madam, it seems we have a serious problem here, you just broke the sink! Shame on you! Now please go to the front galley and speak to the purser. She is responsible for the water and sanitation of the airplane and she’s going to tell you what the sanctions will be!”. Then you see the poor lady getting veeery constrained and heading straight to the front galley. We see the purser getting confused and we burst into laugh of course…HA! Water and sanitation on board?! Are you serious?!
What’s next? A lady wants to go to the lavatory, I don’t know how and why, but she decides that she must open one of the exits and starts fighting with the door trying to lift the handle…Go ahead, woman. The toilet is outdoors. After all one guy had already asked me for real if the lavatory was outside the airplane…