Diary of a pissed-off flight attendant

A typical working day of a flight attendant

“OH! YOU’RE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT?!GOSH, THAT IS SOO COOL, I SWEAR! LUCKY YOU!”… I hear that A LOT and most people act that way when meeting a flight attendant. Well it might be cool, but it depends which airline you work in. Yes, I have visited many places (I would never visit otherwise) since I started my career as a cabin crew, I have been away from home for one week, for one month, for two months. The problem is that 98% of the flights I perform are turnaround – you fly to a certain destination, wait for the aircraft to get cleaned and get back home the same day. So let me tell you about a typical working day of mine.

image-6ddbe40ecb6856c8d09aab29c4ec80aa752b68a178dae6b3c8089ad0482afc4a-V.jpg

June 7, 2016
♦ Alarm at 4:20 am
♦ Done my makeup and my hair. For more info how I do my hair check out here Flight attendant hairstyles and for long lasting makeup products check for Long lasting makeup .
♦ Check in time for Madrid was at 5:45 am; briefing. At the briefing the purser (in other words let’s call him/her the “BOSS” who is responsible for the whole flight) gave us information how many passengers were booked for today in economy and business class, which was the number of the flight, was the flight over water/land, demonstration of the life jackets in the safety demo and who had to read the information to the passengers.
In bigger airlines briefing starts with ”Let’s get know each other a little bit, my name is…nice to meet you”, because they haven’t met before. In our airline we skip this part, because mostly we know each other…or at least have seen each other.
♦ The purser got information from the Captain and the First officer about the weather conditions and the flight time
♦ 6:10 am security checkpoint (Don’t think only passengers have to go through this nightmare. We also do that…shoes off, belts off, watches blah blah…)
♦ 6:15 am finally on board
♦ Today’s flight was on Embear190 aircraft. Usually each cabin attendant (CA) has it’s own responsibilities. It depends how many CA are there on board (Embraer190- three CA), but usually CA1 (the “BOSS”) is responsible for all flight documents (cargo, load sheet, passenger list), CA2 (the senior) has to check the catering and CA3 (the junior) has to check all the emergency equipment (fire extinguishers, oxygen bottles, protective breathing equipments, ect.). Today I was responsible for the catering,  we made a quick security check of the aircraft (to make sure there is no bomb on board) and started with the boarding.
♦ 6:40 am boarding was completed. We had to count all the passengers on board
♦ We armed the slides; made announcement to all passengers to welcome them on board
♦ Safety demo
♦ Preparation of the cabin for take off
♦ 30seconds review (before take off each CA must do this procedure. They should take their safety position and bring to mind a few things – on which type of aircraft are they, is the flight over water/land, for which exit each one of them is responsible for, is the slide in armed position, which are the commands in case of evacuation)
♦ 7 am ready for departure
♦ Seatbelt signs have been switched off. We started our preparation for the service. CA3 was serving the business class, as the purser and I were rolling at the economy class
♦ Time for breakfast. Next to the lavatory of course. Yogurt with musli, BELVITA biscuits and a banana. More how to eat healthy you can find here How to eat healthy on board?
♦ Landed at Barajas airport, Madrid at 10:25 am
♦ Had to wait for the cleaners
♦  Boarding, take off at 11:45 am
♦ Same procedures, same service
♦ Time for lunch. Next to the lavatory again. A mom was waiting for her young daughter in front of it shouting all the time “Don’t lock the door honey, or you won’t be able to get out!….Honey, are you ready?! Two more people are waiting for the toilet!” while slightly opening the door a few times… and then I heard a voice coming from the lavatory “I AM P…ING, MOM!” Then that woman decided to give me a detailed information about how hard usually was for her daughter going to the toilet when traveling by plane… I decided to better stop eating. After a few more seconds that woman sarted shouting again “HONEY, POR FAVOR! GET OUT ALREADY, YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T DO IT! THERE IS A BIG QUEUE ALREADY!!!” I guess averyone on board already knew what was going on at the lavatory…
♦ Landed at Sofia airport at 2:30 pm
♦ Disembarkation. A few people couldn’t resist to tell me how indignant they were, because we don’t offer juices at economy class, how cold was all the time, how awful the catering was and how the guy from the front row was an asshole, because his seatback was backwards for 3hours…
♦ Went to the gym at 3 pm
♦ Came back home at 5:30 pm
♦ 8 pm.Now I am writing this article…

Do you still think being a flight attendant is so amazing and glamorous? I don’t thik so. And yes, this is my daily routine I have only one day off per week. BOOORIIING!…

IMAG1177
Well…sometimes my crew and I know how to make it fun…

image1 (1)

 

Advertisements